Andy Ross Makes The Best Scrambled Eggs
The humor writer and Tara Reid defender answers a few tiny questions
My Next Ghost is a collection of tiny interviews with people I like. Just a few scattered questions that are less “what’s your creative process?” and more “have you ever seen a person slip on a banana peel?”
Current location: In a big chair in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn
Eight-word memoir: Generally very Kermit-y both in voice and attitude
What's your favorite dad joke?
What kind of pants do ghost hunters wear? Just a paranormal jeans.
What is magic?
Everything quiet is magic. Iced tea in the sunlight. Biking on Governor's Island.
What’s your secret talent?
I make very good scrambled eggs, and I don’t want that to be a secret. Please tell everyone. The trick is that you separate the eggs and scramble just the whites slow and low until the curds and liquid separate and then come back together to look like a cloud or maybe grits. Then, you fold in the yolks and just give them a kiss of heat. So, you get these creamy, umami-forward scrambled eggs that are still cooked through all the way.
Who was your first crush?
There was a girl named Tessa in third grade. I made her cry when I told her I was going to grow up to be a werewolf and she was going to grow up to become a witch. She’s a somatic therapist now, so...
Who's your latest crush?
I showed my kids the Josie and the Pussycats movie. I think Tara Reid got a bad shake. She was delightful in that movie. Why did Natasha Lyonne’s partying get a pass but Tara Reid’s didn’t?
What question do you wish I'd ask you?
I wish you'd ask my top 100 dirty limericks I've ever written.1
Andy Ross is a humor writer and designer based in Brooklyn. He has performed with The Moth, written for The Onion, and contributed comedy scripts to variety shows around Chicago and New York. His long-running humor reading series Real Characters at McNally Jackson Books featured TV writers, storytellers, and comedians like Kate McKinnon, Rachel Dratch, Simon Rich, and Cole Escola. Andy is a former Art Director at Condé Nast and currently illustrates mystery book covers. You can see him host bingo in Bryant Park every summer.
Got a good HOW I LEARNED story? SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN.
Previously on My Next Ghost
Okay, tell me one of the top 100 dirty limericks you’ve ever written.
The chiropractioner’s crack
Really sent out of whack my poor back;
Turns out he’s three ducks
In a coat; What the fuck?
I’ll never go back to that quack.